(to want to write.)

Distinguishable

Why is it that we find ourselves sad at certain times- inconvenient times? The littlest gesture can remind us of something harsh to our thoughts or a memory we wished we had left in the past. This psychological being that exists within ourselves remains a mystery that the world will never be able to solve on its own. But we have the ability to analyze these feelings and partake it in our own mannerisms and focal points. I think that these thoughts, these negative things, happen and it affects us for hours, days, or maybe even years. We take that it just so happened to alter our mood and we believe it to be the worst of us, low points that we drag on about that turn out to be something that mirrors a lifetime. 

Although we could view this from another perspective, it's the solid truth. It is undeniable that we feel reluctant, yet seemingly incoherent about these strong emotions that build up to be the pieces that break us down, mentally. The biggest concern, in our minds, is to rebuild our positivity by... how? Well, easily taking this discouraging fragment and flipping it inside out, solving the puzzle from the pieces versus the original image. Everything seems more clear when you subtract the big problem and work from the easier process. But the problem here is that it's not always a fix that can be permanent. 

What about when we find ourselves smiling? And at convenient times? That ray of bliss becomes aware to the senses for about a few seconds or maybe a few minutes at the most. We never remember the little things that made us happy even for a second at other instances. Our selfishness is so wrung up on the disheartening things that happened to us, or the things that ruined our day or dejected our mindset for certain goals. I don't think that what we do is very healthy, but it happens and its natural. I just think it's really hard to get past the ideology that happy memories dissolve faster than the sadder ones, the ones that deeply affect us for a certain amount of our lives.

Living this way is unhealthy and it sometimes hard to distinguish outbursts of sadness versus emotional scarring. I wish there was a way to sort it out or have your own boggling mind system that is aware of it self. All I know is that if we do not help ourselves, the confusion between these two will become something much more; something that might destroy us.