"Notes" // March 1, 2015 11:15 PM

I think that maybe my life is so monotonous because I paint it to be that way. the way I imagine it to be is much different, in perspective, but when I allow myself to apply it, my mindset boggles into a complete livid distinction of myself. And that's speaking out of complete context, because I don't intend to be so angry about my choices, but I become that way out of the process in which I say "I can be better." or "I could've been more productive." "I could've done more." it's just frustrating when you believe to be sought out as such a bold character when you're really just lingering in the dark attempting to catch up with yourself in what seems to be successive flashes of life. it's so confusing, how things to equate to be, and I hate being stuck in this continuous loop looking downward and saying to myself "I'm sorry you're so afraid of change."